What even are the Before Times??

This section was created on August 31st, 2024, and features sparse content currently for that reason. Visit the main index for a full listing of all parts of the site, or check for updates here.

When I use the phrase Before Times I may sound a bit melodramatic; this is on purpose. These memories of a (supposedly) simpler time capture the unique (often heavily romanticized, yes) atmosphere we experienced back then. I also actually enjoy how egregious it sounds, as a sort of parody of the over-romanticization of the past, and a warning to not take such narratives very seriously.

It’s also a reference to the sort of phrasing you’d see in the plethora of dystopian novels my generation read over the years, to the sense that the world is indeed sliding towards a sort of terrible dystopia, too. With that, of course, comes the realization that real life is rarely as navigable as those novels, and there’s never a Katniss or whoever to fix things.

Either way, in this case, it refers to the period of time prior to the Internet and similar technologies really taking full control of society and our daily lives.

This phrase is used jokingly, though, and I embrace how silly it sounds. It’s a bit of a bit. It also isn’t meant to imply that the Information Age itself is the problem, though you must admit social media has disenchanted it somewhat these days. Don’t the confines of social media feel like concrete dystopian walls, lit only by the dim gaslighting (pun intended) of advertisements and flame wars?

I love the internet. Dearly. And it will find a way forward. I do, also, think humanity itself will find a way through, even through things like global warming, microplastics, and vast extinctions we’re causing. A consummate believer in human potential, I remain optimistic for all kinds of reasons. I’m still, after all, a bona fide transhumanist of sorts. The next fifty years will be interesting…

Weird and Rare Times?

These memories feel deeply liminal to me. They represent my strange experiences of growing up on the cusp of the Information Age. Admittedly, my childhood likely wasn’t normal per se, but it was at least interesting. I think these little anecdotes will resonate with the sort of people who are likely to find this site in the first place, though. And, y’know… some of these incidents were rather humorous, or at least interesting in retrospect.

Stories that relate primarily to events I witnessed online, or events in the news, experiences like that, early memes, etc, are marked with a pink heart.
Slightly more personal stories more concerned with my daily life back then and some of my experiences navigating it, particularly offline, are marked with a red heart.
Unfinished (ie, empty) material, or ideas that I am simply serious enough to jot down, is noted in this color, and with a tan heart, as shown.

Y2K (1996-2001)

I was unleashed on the web roughly in 1995, but it’s hard to be sure. I spent a lot of time on America Online, when able, and eventually learned rudimentary usage of that ISP’s website builder. I made a little site about dachshunds, and gradually drifted deeper into cyberspace. I wandered through chatrooms, gaming servers, mailing lists, sites panicking about Y2K and other strange things.

These stories took place prior to September 11th, 2001, which is, I must admit, a cultural turning point of sorts, no matter how you view things. Most of them focus on things like making friends online, writing and reading fanfics, and even things like the Millennium Bug. Expect this list to expand, but not as much as other sections.

The Mad Scientist Mad at Science I thought I'd explore the circumstances and experiences I had surrounding my grade school bully and his self-published philosophy book from 1995. How do you feel about the industrial revolution and its consequences?
Why the 1990s Were Horrible A lot of people romanticize the 1990s, and the experience of the Millennium itself. Sorry to break it to you, but the 1990s were just terrible in many respects, and I'll explain why at some point. I'll spend some time focusing on the bad aspects...
Septembers, Eternal and Otherwise Nothing lasts forever, good or bad, right? But what does that mean for the internet? Some musings on everything that has happened since September of 1993, and a cheeky dating system.
The Blue Crisis of 2000 We all know that some songs aren’t appropriate for middle school, and it should be relatively clear. No sex, no drugs, but rock and roll is okay, right? Everything changed with the introduction of eurodance…
Hank Hill, Cartoon Father Figure If you’re so bad at being a father that you can be easily replaced with a cartoon character by a bunch of teenaged fanfic writers, you probably should’ve just chosen not to have kids…
Midnight on AOL Was there ever a Golden Age of the Internet, and did we, as millennials, experience it? Wait, though... shouldn't we be asking ourselves first what a "Golden Age" would even look like, and if such things even exist?

Domain Scene (2001-2005)

In the Autumn of 2001, I created my first blog using Blogger and Geocities, back when one could connect them. I quickly moved from that to being a “hostee” on someone else’s webspace, eschewing platforms with advertisements. Eventually, I was gifted a domain name (and hosting package) for my sixteenth birthday, and created my own space amongst the burgeoning “scene” of teenagers running blogs, sharing design resources, chatting, and interacting via these sites.

Some parts of this were wholesome, to be sure, but it was nothing like neocities, nor like a lot of the younger sort on here seem to imagine. In particular, there were some cruel moments, too. Anyways, these stories all concern that general time period, up until (roughly) the earliest beginnings of social media and the slow decline of that community.

Why the 2000s Were Terribad No, it really wasn't as great as you're remembering. Let me try to jog your memory a bit? I'm sharing a discussion of reasons to dislike the 2000s, things that people often forget to mention when they go down these online nostalgia trips...
The Red, White, and Blue Bar Fight of 2001 September 11th changed everything, but it also made America insufferably solemn and patriotic for at least three months. An ontological mystery where life, including homework, revolves around the star-spangled banner.
Curated Web Lore Join me on a walk through the most fascinating Wikipedia articles documenting internet and web-adjacent lore from the 1990s and 2000s. Updated semi-regularly, and includes a randomizer, as well as a full list.
Domain Debutante People from many generations remember turning "sweet sixteen," but living in the information age added a special bonus! The gift of a domain name and hosting package probably changed my life forever.
Demerits by Lissa I somehow managed to both get a detention's worth of demerits and change the computer science class's curriculum, however slightly, all by linking the teacher to Lissa Explains.
The End of an Aeon? Can we really divide history (any kind of history) into aeons and eras, and if so, how far does that go? Is it productive to think that way? I plan to share some thoughts on what I'd probably call secular eschatology or aonics.