hank hill: cartoon father figure

The year was 2000-ish. Several teenagers sat watching King of the Hill together. We were mostly waiting for The X-files to start later in the night as part of Fox’s Sunday night lineup, but King of the Hill was a welcome bonus.

The twist? We were all in separate cities scattered throughout the same time zone, sitting on AOL Instant Messenger and chatting. None of us had ever met in person. Yet, we were watching King of the Hill (and ultimately The X-files) together, regardless of that, and it was amazing, wasn’t it?

We had all mostly met through fanfic groups on Livejournal, back before the Russian takeover of the site. It was true that any one of the others might’ve been lying about their age, but everyone seemed to be around my age. I’d spoken to some of them on the phone, who were in area codes near me. And I related to them on a pretty deep level, y’know?

We, of course discussed our regular lives. It turned out a lot of us had awfully bad experiences with our own dads. A couple had never even met their fathers. My own dad was, even at that point, almost comically bad at life itself, and a downright mess as a parent. I rarely saw him because there really wasn’t a reason - he simply didn’t feel like a dad. He’d never been a positive influence on children, and only seemed successful at failing when it came to everything else.

After a lot of emoticons and back-and-forth chatter, one of us jokingly commented that we were all learning way more from watching Hank on King of the Hill than from our actual, real fathers. Hank Hill clearly understood life and how to be a person much better. We joked that he would, from then forward, be Hank Hill’s random adopted foster kids. Good God, that reflected poorly on our actual fathers, didn’t it? Replaceable by a cartoon character (albeit a well-written one)?

It was true, though. King of the Hill did give us some interesting life lessons, and Hank was a better example of a guy, for sure. This became a running gag whenever we watched King of the Hill. What’s “dad” up to now? How would Hank react to such-and-such if he were a real person?

Top Ten Favorite Episodes

1. How to Fire a Rifle Without Really Trying - Hank… goes to therapy? Sort of? And it helps him overcome (a kind of) trauma from his past? Didn’t think the show would go there, but it did, and the whole thing enriches his relationship with Bobby, too.
2. Death of a Propane Salesman - Massive character development from everyone, plus the conclusion to a huge cliffhanger? Yes please!
3. Returning Japanese - This whole sequence involving the trip to Japan is amazing, from Luanne’s “I learned to clone at junior college” to Hank’s ultimate connection with Junichiro.
4. Meet the Manger Babies - I’m sorry. Most fans disagree, but I love the Manger Babies. I’m not even a Christian. It’s just fun seeing Luanne so happy, plus the church scenes are quaint and humorous to me.
5. Kidney Boy and Hamster Girl - Reflecting on my childhood, this is exactly the kind of thing I would’ve tried, too, if I’d had the opportunity, plus we see Bobby and Connie share a dance.
6. Revenge of the Lutefisk - So much hatred for Cotton Hill, but here, he really steps up. I’ve got a lot of sympathy for Bobby in this episode, but then, don’t we all? Wish Bill had dated the pastor…
7. Reborn to be Wild - A parody of Christian rock sounds about as cringe nowadays as Christian rock, but in terms of Bobby, Hank was right this time. I liked Hank’s blunt and insightful explanation at the end.
8. Dances with Dogs - Shows Hank actively involved in one of Bobby’s weird performance hobbies, and Ladybird, too! Pity they’re pitted against each other! I bet you didn’t know dancing with dogs was a real sport, either…
9. The Son that Got Away - Most towns have a Boneyard, even if it isn’t called that. My town had a Boneyard. Running off to the Boneyard is a pretty quintessential experience, and I’m glad the trio got to experience it.
10. Ms. Wakefield - You can’t see this and not empathize with Ms. Wakefield, at least on some level, even though that makes Hank and the gang seem like the bad guys. The ending is great considering the subject matter.

Top Ten Reasons to Like Hank

1. Hank learns from his mistakes. Contrary to what people think, most episodes don’t feature a “Hank’s always right” moral, and Hank often learns lessons.
2. Hank is a hard worker. This should go without saying! Nowhere in this series do we see Hank ever act lazy, even in situations that probably do warrant it.
3. Hank readily opens his heart and home (to Luanne, Lucky, etc), despite seeming gruff. And, let’s be honest - he really wanted his den back, yet let her stay…
4. Despite their obvious different styles of masculinity, Hank consistently proves he really loves and cares for his son, getting him out of all kinds of tough situations.
5. Hank would never dream of hurting Peggy’s feelings, no matter how much of a Karen she becomes. In the early seasons, she wasn’t quite as annoying, but…
6. Hank carefully considers the effects of his actions, even when they may not be what is “traditionally” right (see: Dale and Joseph).
7. Hank tolerates Buck Strickland and many other people who take life a lot less seriously than himself, usually without actually blowing up at them.
8. Hank successfully overcame his weird upbringing with his father, Cotton Hill, to create a functional and reasonably happy family environment for his son, Bobby.
9. Hank has shown himself capable of physical altercation (!!) when and if actually warranted. He constantly says that he’ll kick someone’s ass, true, which isn’t the best trait, but reserves his power for situations where it’s necessary.
10. Hank generally seems to care more about the happiness of his family than his own, when it really matters.